You’ve checked all the boxes—learned how to figure out your next career moves: promotions, impressive title, solid salary.
So why does Sunday night still fill you with dread? If you’re successful on paper but something feels off, you’re not alone. Here’s how to figure out what’s really next.
Why This Matters More Than Ever
Flo, a PhD candidate at a prestigious school company, came to me with a confession that stopped me in my tracks: “I have everything I thought I wanted, but I feel like I’m slowly disappearing.”
Sound familiar?
Here’s what I’ve learned after helping successful women navigate career transitions: The rules that got you here won’t get you where you need to go next.
The Hidden Truth About Career Success
Most career advice assumes you’re starting from scratch or trying to “climb higher.” But what happens when you’ve already climbed? What happens when success stops feeling successful?
You’ve likely outgrown your career faster than your career has evolved to match who you’ve become.
This isn’t about being ungrateful or “having unrealistic expectations.” This is about honoring your growth and finding work that fits the woman you are today—not the woman you were five years ago.
The Real Problem: Three Core Patterns Keeping You repeating the same patterns
Pattern #1: The Achiever’s Identity Gap™
What it is: The disconnect between who you’ve become and how you’re showing up professionally.
You’ve evolved—personally, intellectually, spiritually—but your career hasn’t kept pace. You’re performing a professional persona that no longer fits.
It’s like wearing a suit that fit perfectly five years ago but now pinches in all the wrong places. You can still function in it, but you’re constantly uncomfortable.
Signs you’re experiencing this:
- You feel like you’re “acting” at work
- Your values and your daily tasks don’t align
- You’ve outgrown the version of success you once wanted
- You feel like people don’t see the “real you” professionally
Pattern #2: False Fits™
What it is: Taking opportunities that look impressive but feel wrong in your body.
You keep choosing roles based on external metrics (salary, title, prestige) rather than internal alignment. Each move looks smart on paper but leaves you feeling empty.
It’s like buying a house because it’s in the right neighborhood and has great resale value, but you never feel at home when you walk through the door.
Signs you’re caught in false fits:
- You dread Sunday nights consistently
- You rationalize why a role is “good for you” despite feeling drained
- You’ve changed jobs multiple times but keep feeling the same way
- You find yourself saying “I should be grateful” more than “I love this”
Pattern #3: Outdated Decision-Making used to figure out your next career move
What it is: Using old criteria to make new choices.
You’re still making career decisions based on who you used to be or what you thought you wanted years ago. Your decision-making GPS hasn’t been updated to reflect who you are now.
It’s like navigating with a map from 2019. You might eventually get somewhere, but you’ll take unnecessary detours and miss better routes entirely.
Signs your decision-making needs an update:
- You feel paralyzed by career choices
- You keep circling the same options without clarity
- You ask everyone else’s opinion but don’t trust your own
- You make decisions from fear instead of excitement
The Real Problem: Three Hidden Patterns
After working with hundreds of successful women, I’ve identified three patterns that keep smart, capable women stuck in work that doesn’t fit:
1. The Achiever’s Identity Gap™ – There’s a disconnect between who you’ve become and how you’re showing up professionally
2. False Fits™ – You keep taking opportunities that look good on paper but feel wrong in practice
3. Decision Fatigue – You’re making career moves from old criteria instead of peace-led choices
Let me break these down…
The Path Forward: Three-Pillar Framework
Once you understand these three patterns, the solution becomes clear. Here’s how to break free:
Pillar 1: Close The Achiever’s Identity Gap™
Think of this like updating your internal GPS. You wouldn’t drive cross-country with a map from 2019—yet many of us are navigating our careers with an outdated sense of who we are.
The Evolution Audit:
- What aspects of your personality have strengthened in the past 3-5 years?
- What values have become non-negotiable?
- What work energizes you vs. what drains you?
- When do you feel most “like yourself” at work?
Don’t skip this step. Most women jump straight to “what’s next” without honoring who they’ve become. It’s like trying to shop for clothes without knowing your current size—you’ll end up with things that don’t fit.
Pillar 2: Spot False Fits™ Before You Take Them
This is like learning to recognize your perfect home. You’re not looking for any house—you’re looking for the one where you can breathe deeply, spread out, and truly belong.
The Body Wisdom Check: Your nervous system knows before your brain does. For each potential opportunity:
- Does thinking about it create expansion or contraction in your body?
- Do you feel energized or depleted when you imagine doing this work?
- Does it feel like “playing dress-up” or like coming home?
The Values Alignment Test: List your top 5 values. For any opportunity you’re considering:
- How many of your values does this honor?
- Where might you need to compromise?
- Is the compromise worth it, or does it feel like abandoning yourself?
Pillar 3: Make Peace-Led Moves™
This is like finally wearing an outfit that fits perfectly. You’re not tugging at sleeves or adjusting constantly—you can move through your day with confidence because everything aligns.
Update Your Decision Criteria: Before making any move, ask:
- Does this align with who I am now (not who I used to be)?
- Does this honour my evolution rather than ignore it?
- Can I be authentically myself in this role/environment?
- Does this feel like expansion or contraction?
Choose From Integration, Not Desperation:
- Choose toward something, not away from something
- Honor both your practical needs and your authentic self
- Make decisions from abundance, not scarcity
Release What No Longer Serves: Imagine cleaning out your closet. You have clothes that served you well in different seasons of life, but they no longer fit who you are today. You can honour what they gave you while making space for what fits now.
Identify which parts of your professional identity were:
- Survival strategies (things you did to succeed in environments that didn’t fit)
- People-pleasing patterns (being who others needed you to be)
- Outdated definitions of success (goals that made sense for a previous version of you)
What This Looks Like in Real Life
Case Study: From False Fits™ to Perfect Alignment
Meet Jasmine: Senior Business Analyst, 14 years experience, six-figure income.
The Problem: Despite her success, Jasmine was caught in all three patterns:
- Achiever’s Identity Gap™: She’d become more collaborative, but her role rewarded individual achievement
- False Fits™: She kept making lateral moves (different companies) that looked good but felt draining
- Outdated Decisions: She was choosing based on old definitions of success
The Breakthrough:
- Closed the Achiever’s Identity Gap™: Jasmine acknowledged she’d evolved into a values-driven leader
- Spotted the False Fit™: Her body wisdom told her competitive environments depleted her
- Made a Peace-Led Move™: She transitioned to a mission-driven role.
The Result: Jasmine didn’t just make a change—she integrated her evolution into her professional expression. She went from showing up to work as a different version of herself to allowing her true self come to work and therefore picked the right role for her.
Your Action Steps This Week
Day 1-2: Identity Audit
- Complete the Evolution Audit questions
- Notice where you feel most/least like yourself at work
Day 3-4: False Fit Detection
- Run your current role through the Body Wisdom Check
- List 3 potential directions and test each against your values
Day 5-7: Decision Upgrade
- Write down your old success criteria vs. your new ones
- Choose one small step toward more aligned professional expression
Common Obstacles and How to Navigate Them
“But I should be grateful…”
Gratitude and growth aren’t mutually exclusive. You can appreciate what got you here while acknowledging it’s time for what’s next.
“What if I’m making a mistake?”
The biggest mistake is staying in misalignment longer than necessary. You’re not making a mistake—you’re making an evolution.
“People will think I’m crazy…”
Most people won’t understand because they haven’t done their own inner work. You’re not responsible for their comfort with your growth.
Ready to figure out your next career move?
If this resonates with you—if you see yourself in these words and feel ready to stop performing success and start embodying it—you don’t have to figure this out alone.
The journey from successful-but-stuck to aligned-and-energized isn’t just possible—it’s your birthright.
I’ve created a free masterclass specifically for women like you: “Ready to Change Careers? How to Find Work That Fits Your Soul, Not Just Your Resume.”
In this training, you’ll discover:
- How to spot the three patterns that keep successful women spinning
- My complete framework for making career moves that honor who you’ve become
- The exact process my clients use to go from confused to confident in their next steps
- How to make Peace-Led Moves™ that feel as good as they look
This isn’t another generic career workshop. This is specifically designed for women who’ve already achieved success and are ready for work that actually fits.
[Register for the free masterclass here →]
Because you didn’t come this far to stay where you are.
Rozella is a career coach for women over 30 who feel stuck and drained in their careers to figure out what they truly want, tap into their strengths, and build a career they actually love so they can wake up feeling energized, confident, and at peace with the direction of their life. With over 14 years of experience in corporate and armed with PMP, PROSCI, and CSM certifications, she guides you step by step towards finding a meaningful career that feels right for you!
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